Jargon Jar

Sailing Towards Self-Discovery

2012-03-13T20:51:00.001-07:00

This may be a little obscure for a blog, but over the past while I've been struggling with the most cliche question of them all: who am I (and who am I living for)?

The thing is, I really don't think I'm the only one who ponders about this question. I'm young, I haven't experienced everything I would like to yet. I like a lot of things, and I'm gifted at many things - but I'm still discovering what I love. Many people seem to be in this position, especially students of high school and university age. We're expected to know what we want to be by the age of 15 it seems, when we're not near mature enough, nor have our brains fully developed. Many of us are still making mistakes, still trying new things, and still carefully discovering what it is we would like to do with the majority of our lives.

Recently I've rediscovered my love for english and for writing. I've also began to apply my love for music - rather than just listening to it all of the time. I've rediscovered my love for photography, and baking. Things that I had long forgotten about somehow through university. Here I seem to be losing myself. Okay, that's a little dramatic. What I mean is, here I seemed to have forgotten about the things I like to do the most, as well as become confused as to why I'm not doing those things anymore.

Now I have a confession to make. I"m seriously considering taking a year off from school in order to re-evaluate my life. I hate my program, and I've learned the hard way that just because you're good at something doesn't mean you should make a career out of it. If at the end of the day you hate it, don't do it. You need to do something you love, otherwise you won't succeed at it.

Now what this all comes down to is the question - who am I living for, and who have I been living for? I've often wondered that if I have been fully and completely living for God this entire time, than I wouldn't be facing this life crisis. However, I don't believe this is true. I think that because I began to live for God and because my life has changed so drastically in the last year and a half that I have changed, and I'm now being reminded of the things that have always been there in me all along - the gifts God has given me, that I just have laid doormat for a long time.

Now in this whole discovery, I've realized that one thing I lack is discipline. This is something I've been working on, not only in myself, but in all aspects of my life. One thing I have learned, that makes discipline easier to apply, is when it is applied in the spiritual. I've found that as soon as I create spiritual disciplines other physical, mental and emotional disciplines start to follow.

Mind you, sometimes in creating discipline and reorganization of thoughts, it may become more chaotic before it becomes more aligned. Sometimes we have to deal with the mess of our being, face it and be honest about it to God before He can do anything about it. Before we can even do anything about it - for how can we fix something that we're avoiding altogether?

Quite frankly, the last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions, ideas, and of course adventures. All in the hopes that someday soon I will be able to walk in all that God is calling me to and appointing me to. Though my hobbies and likes and dislikes are sometimes fleeting and flakey, I will always have God the rock and foundation to fall back on.

FOR IN HIM I AM...

...God's child (John 1:12)
...Chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
...Blameless (I Corinthians 1:8)

...Set free (Romans 8:2; John 8:32)
...Crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20)
...A light in the world (Matthew 5:14)
...More than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
...The righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)
...Safe (I John 5:18)
...Part of God's kingdom (Revelation 1:6)
...Healed from sin (I Peter 2:24)
...No longer condemned (Romans 8:1, 2)
...Not helpless (Philippians 4:13)
...Overcoming (I John 4:4)
...Promised eternal life (John 6:47)
...Promised a full life
...Persevering (Philippians 3:14)
...Protected (John 10:28)
...Born again (I Peter 1:23)
...A new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
...Delivered (Colossians 1:13)
...Redeemed from the curse of the Law (Galatians 3:13)
...Qualified to share in His inheritance (Colossians 1:12)
...Victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57)

...Dead to sin (Romans 1:12)
...Not alone (Hebrews 13:5)
...Growing (Colossians 2:7)
...His disciple (John 13:15)
...Prayed for by Jesus Christ (John 17:20-23)
...United with other believers (John 17:20-23)
...Not in want (Philippians 4:19)

...Faithful (Ephesians 1:1)
...God's child (John 1:12)

...Assured all things work together for good (Romans 8:28)
...Confident that God will perfect the work He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6)

...Completed by God (Ephesians 3:19)

And THROUGH HIM I CAN:

...Approach God with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12)
...Know there is a purpose for my sufferings (Ephesians 3:13)
...Grasp how wide, long, high and deep Christ's love is (Ephesians 3:18)
...Bring glory to God (Ephesians 3:21)
...Be sure that I have been called (Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)
...Be humble, gentle, patient and lovingly tolerant of others (Ephesians 4:2)
...Mature spiritually (Ephesians 4:15)
...Be certain of God's truths and the lifestyle which He has called me to (Ephesians 4:17)
...Have a new attitude and a new lifestyle (Ephesians 4:21-32)
...Be kind and compassionate to others (Ephesians 4:32)
...Forgive others (Ephesians 4:32)
...Understand what God's will is (Ephesians 5:17)
...Give thanks for everything (Ephesians 5:20)
...Be strong (Ephesians 6:10)

Team Chats

2012-01-28T16:15:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it's because Valentine's day is in a few weeks. I don't know if it's just because I'm at the age where a lot of my friends are engaged/married. I don't know if it's because the church has finally realized that the way we do marriage is wrong - but what I do I know, is I've been hearing a LOT about it lately. Not just about marriage, but dating and engagement as well. I hear a lot of my single friends express their opinions, and I receive a lot of wisdom from older couples and newly weds, etc. So I thought that I would share some of what I've learned about dating relationships and all that "mushy stuff" in this blog. And to add to that, my personal standpoints and what I believe, etc. Warning: this probably will end up to be one of the longest blogs I've ever written.

I keep hearing that any good relationship takes a good friendship. My question? If one is always "on the prowl" so to speak, and constantly looking out for the "one" - how will they ever see their friendships as anything more than "dating material" or worse? 1 Timothy 5:1-2 makes a good point of saying to appeal to/ treat older women as mothers, younger men as brothers and younger women as sisters - in all purity. I think that this is a good verse to live by. So often when people are single, especially at vulnerable times we evaluate the opposite gender based on whether they'd be a good boyfriend/girlfriend - when the Bible is clearly saying that we need to treat everyone as brothers and sisters in purity. I believe respect and honour are two huge traits that we lack when it comes to friendships, let alone dating and marriage relationships. My point is, is that when we focus on God completely all of the things important in friendships follow: love, honour, serving and being humble towards one another. ( Matthew 6:33)

Now this is where I get into standards. Being a girl, I may be a little biased, but I once heard the quote: "a woman should be so into God that a man must seek Him to find her" in a sermon, and thought it was so good. Ever since I've heard this, I've completely disregarded dating until I can be sure that my most important relationship is at my top priority, and that my life is bearing good fruit. ie) I want to personally be sure that I'm "wifey material" before I even begin to date. I don't mean "wifey material" in the sense that I need to be able to cook, clean, sew, etc. Those are all skills that can be learned at any time. What I mean is that I need my heart to be completely thankful and in love with God before I can truly and fairly love anyone else. This also applies in my friendships. I want to be sure that as I seek God more and more that my friendships and relationships with my friends become stronger and I become a blessing and not a burden. I only hope that others hold the same perspective, to seek first the Kingdom and righteousness before throwing themselves out into the dating sea.

I used to think a lot of things. I used to ask God for physical traits like ocean blue eyes and good at math haha! However, I have learned that it doesn't matter if the guy is the hottest thing since burnt toast (I just made that up now ha), or if he is Einstein - but what matters is if his character is worthy of a woman of God. Now, I'm not about to bash guys, or girls. I think both genders have their faults, I know I have mine. I don't believe the perfect "girl" or "guy" exists (except Jesus, but not what I mean). I believe that a guy should be a spiritual leader to a girl, but at the same time I believe that girl should help and encourage the guy to be all he should be.

I have a sense that a lot of us, including myself, sort of have this notion that when "the one" comes along it's going to be flashing neon lights and the most obvious revelation right away. There are exceptions, I have heard stories where God outright said through His word that "this is who you're marrying. Generally though, I've learned that God requires us to step out in faith and then He will provide revelation - but it takes a step of faith first, just as anything in our journey with God does - but we have to be putting Him first.

AND! We need to be wise. As in:

LADIES - guard your hearts in God, find a man who:

- Can spiritually lead you - a man of good character.

- Who is completely selfless,

- Rejoices in his relationship with Christ, maintains proper relationships,

- Is respectful of emotions,

- Is patient and doesn't jump ahead of God's timing,

- Seeks to serve/meet practical needs of others,

- Stands for what is right, follows through with God-given roles/responsibilities

- Flees temptations to compromise!

GENT'S - guard your hearts in God as well. Find a lady who:

- Spends more time in the Word of God than in front of a mirror,

- A lady who has diligence in what she does, faith and devotion in God and in what He's given her to do;

- A lady of purity, conviction and patience and who is secure and content with herself and surroundings.

- A woman of God who is selfless, humble, who rejoices in her relationship with God, is bold in her faith and who's emotion's are in check - ie) don't be the boyfriend of the crazy drama queen who is always yelling at you because you did something wrong. No one wants that. Ever. Not even the girl haha.

SIGNS YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT READY TO DATE (LADIES & GENT'S)

- If you don't know your general purpose/call in God yet. For example, if you don't have a heart for missions, or don't know if you do, don't date someone who really wants to live overseas for five years.

- If you're unwilling to communicate and if your ego can inflate a balloon (also just made that up haha).

- If you have a bad temper and argumentative tendencies.

- If you have a hard time apologizing and use bad/degrading language.

- If you're unwilling to get involved with a church, if you can't keep a job (as in you just get fired or quit easily).

- If you're easily jealous/possessive (this one is key - possessiveness often leads to unhealthy relationships really fast!)

- If you're selfish, self centred and if you're depressed/super negative all the time.

- If you have a hard time giving.

- If you're always "going with the girls/guys" in a bad way, as in - if you're a date ditcher.

- If you have wandering eyes, if you have a lying problem worse than Pinocchio.

- If you're immature (spiritually or emotionally meaning you throw a temper tantrum when you don't get your own way or you're brand new to your faith and aren't fully equipped to lead/encourage anyone just yet).

- If you have workaholic tendencies, you're probably not ready to date either - there's a difference between stewardship and being a workaholic, that is intention. Are you working to please God or are you working out of anxiety or fear of failure? If you're always seeking to please others - you need to seek to please God first.

- AND if you're struggling with any addictions or emotional issues, it's probably best to stay out of the dating world for a little while.

THAT BEING SAID. No one is perfect. Don't just write someone off because they haven't arrived at all of these standards. Because honestly, we all lack something, but if our hearts are rooted in God, we should all be striving towards these things and show most of these things through our lives. ALSO just because you like someone does NOT mean you have to date them. For example, if you like a girl/guy and they're loony toons, don't even dwell on that, ever. Final advice? Put God first. Get in His Word. Pray. Observe - but don't focus, and treat everyone as a brother/sister. Eventually (well, hopefully) God will bring someone who's going in your direction alongside you. And remember - God cares more for your Holiness than your happiness. If God believes that you serve Him better single, you probably do - always be content.

... this could be a book it's so long. Oh my.

Top 10 Musical Releases of 2011

2011-12-22T22:17:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Album Releases of 2011

#10) Birds - Aaron Strumpel
Basically you will only appreciate this album if you a) enjoy really weird and experimental/folky kind of genres or b) see music entirely as an art or something we can create. If you are not in either one of those categories, it's doubtful you'll enjoy it. However, this is still hands down one of the most expressively experimental albums I've heard in a while.

#9) Burlap to Cashmere - Burlap to Cashmere
If you're into folk at all this is definitely an album you'll want to check out. He stays true to a lot of the folk roots in this album, not unlike artists such as Bob Dylan or Neil Young. This guy really knows how to tell a story well.

#8) Civil Twilight - Civil Twilight
This summer I was first enlightened by Civil Twilight and their single "Letters from the Sky". I think I listened to that song on repeat and then some until I finally bought their debut album If you like artists such as Coldplay or The Fray I think you'll like these guys.

#7) Odd Soul - MuteMath
I won't even lie, I was a little bit disappointed at the decline in content of MuteMath lyrics. However, these guys are way too awesome at what they do for me not to have them on my top ten list. On top of that, they know how to create an epic album.

#6) Economy - John Mark McMillan
This one took a while to grow on me, but nonetheless is really great. John Mark McMillan is another artist who knows how to create an overall solid album, and Economy is certainly that.

#5) Response - Phil Wickham
I just love Phil Wickham! This is just a solid album and a recommended buy for anyone needing some new worship music in their itunes.

#4) Siberia - Lights
When I first heard this, I wasn't so sure about it. The next day I found myself listening to it on repeat. Lights has definitely grown as an artist and definitely has proven that she knows how to compose a solid album with meaningful lyrics. If you haven't already picked it up, and you enjoy a solid pop/dance/electronic sort of music - and even if you don't you should still check out this album. Definitely my favourite by her so far, and she had already set the bar high.

#3) Barton Hollow - The Civil Wars
Oh my stars, I have been waiting for something like this to come out since The Outsiders. I thoroughly enjoy this album. Not a whole lot of content but if you like folk, country, or enjoyed Needtobreathe's Outsider's album, check this out. They have some of the most beautiful harmonies I've ever heard and they're definitely real artists when it comes to music, who also know how to create a solid album right from the debut. I could actually go on for a while about how much I like this album, it's so, so solid.

#2)TIE: The Reckoning - Needtobreathe & Vice Verses - Switchfoot
It basically took me a week to decide which one of these albums I thought was better than the other, until I realized that comparing these two wonderful masterpieces is like comparing apples and oranges. You just cannot do it (well, I can't anyways). Both Needtobreathe and Switchfoot have yet again created solid albums that I recommend to anyone. With great lyrics, great sound you can't really go wrong with either of these two. They're both equally loved and appreciated in my eyes, so much.

#1) Ghosts Upon the Earth - Gungor
To be honest, this has been the best album I've heard in a really, really long time. It is so wonderful, enchanting and magical, it's like listening to a fairy tale. The entire album is raw and beautiful. I am also a sucker for dissonance, and Gungor knows how to pull it off very well. They have grown eons since their last album and have intricately pieced together this wonderful masterpiece. When I listen to one song by itself on a playlist, I have to listen to the whole album because I feel as though I'm somehow taking away from their intent. I could also just rant about this album for an hour, but alas, it is epic and everyone should check it out.

Honourable Mentions: Major/Minor - Thrice, [ With/ Without ] - Quiet Science, Young Love - Mat Kearney, 21 - Adele

Top Song Releases of 2011 (In No Particular Order, They're All Equally Loved)

- Letters from the Sky - Civil Twilight

- Birds of a Feather - The Civil Wars

- Barton Hollow - The Civil Wars

- Selling the News - Switchfoot

- Tyrant Kings - Needtobreathe

- Ohhs and Ahhs - Needtobreathe

- Build a Wall - Burlap to Cashmere

- Prytania - MuteMath

- Flux and Flow - Lights

Selling Out the Good News?

2011-12-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

So, today in church I was receiving a lot of revelation about certain things, and then this lyric came to mind out of nowhere:

"Substance oh substance where have you been? You've been replaced by the masters of spin who make good looking books and write history in - we're selling the news. The lines start to blur I get so confused, I get shiny new models mixed up with the blues. I get binary code mixed up with abuse - the facts are simply one option to choose. When nothing is sacred, there's nothing to lose - when nothing is sacred all is consumed. We're still on the air, it must be the truth - we're selling the news"

Now the bold was what really stuck out to me more so than the rest of the lyrics. I began thinking of these lyrics not just within the context of society and it's relations with media in itself, but the world's relation with the church. Let me further explain.

See, I've personally been convicted of/seen the revelation of the church having this world > Christ mentality where the church subtly becomes more influenced by the world than they're influencing the world. This goes along more with my last post, but when I had this revelation I did't necessarily believe it to be within the individual's Christian walk. I mean it within the Body of Christ. I feel like we've begun to produce sour fruit because our hearts are not aligned properly.

God cares more about the heart than what we do, for if we act and serve but do not have the right heart or intentions then it is worthless in the Kingdom. I've been listening to a lot of sermons lately, and I've been hearing the same things such as "the church is half hearted" "Christians are allowing the world to influence them more than they influence the world", "Christians aren't acting in faith", "we need to get back to serving", "let's raise up the men", etc. A lot of negative things in regards to the state of our hearts - but it's all true, and stuff like this is being preached because we need to change.

Now here's what I believe God says: 1 Corinthians 14:33 says "for God is not a God of confusion, but of peace..." The church and the world seem to be in some sort of confusion. Which leads me to ponder upon the question of how much God is really in the church - and how much we're pushing Him out by "flirting with the world" (James 4).

Now,James speaks very clearly that friendship towards the world is hostility towards God (James 4:4). How much of the world we let into the church as an entity and into our lives individually, I believe determines how effectively and fruitfully we can serve God. I honestly think that many of us cannot serve God as effectively as we should because we are attaining friendship with the world instead of Holiness, myself included.

We are a people of greed and pride, and living in a richer country only makes it that much harder to shake. Everything is given to us, we are extremely blessed and it is SO easy for us to get caught up in what's around us rather than what's within us - the light that outshines the darkness (2 Cor. 4:6). Or rather, we focus what's in front of us more than what's above.

Many believe that we are to use our provision and blessings as a tool for the Kingdom. And I agree - but when you begin to rely on those tools instead of relying on the Hand that provided them I believe there lies the issue.

Christ died for us - a man earnestly lived His life to serve and to save. And rather than earnestly forsake everything to follow His example, we colour the black and white standards grey. The lines start to blur. We get confused. We start blending the things in the world with the things in the church. Worse, we start letting the world influence us. For example, did you know that there is a new Bible translation that is now gender neutral? It's starting to get really popular in a lot of churches. A lot of pastors are apparently preaching from it. A lot of people are reading from it - from a Bible that completely alters and changes the intention of God's word by making it "gender neutral" because feminism is the new thing. Not because of any linguistic correction or discover or alteration...

This is just one example, but it's always a slow fade to disaster - like the frog in the boiling pot that doesn't know it's dying. If it wasn't a slow fade, we'd be able to prevent a lot of what's going on. But maybe we need to go back to basics, and continue to strive towards Holiness together. Maybe start setting more boundaries in order to influence and change the world.

I challenge every one of my Christian readers to give up something that's "grey"or controversial. Maybe not forever, but for a while. And then see how much fruit comes forth in your life. See how much God works through a new standard you set for yourself. And I want to hear about it, for I'll be doing the same thing :)

Who Am I Living For?

2011-12-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

So those of you who know me, know that I've grown a lot since last year. Those of you have gotten to know me more this year, have maybe seen me more bold and outgoing. Those of you who have known me a lot longer, maybe saw that I went through something strange over the last semester.

See, over the last little while I've been struggling with standards. I've been talking to different people about these standards with being a Christian in regards to music, drinking, our goals and how we speak just to name some examples. Now I was confused about these things. I have heard Christians and pastors say that there is a black and white line and others that say it is grey. Now, my friends I am here to tell you I personally have clearly gotten an answer and if you don't agree, then you can take that up with Jesus.

I was reading today in Philippians 2:2 where it says " make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose". Verse 3 goes on to say "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility, regard one another as more important than yourselves 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests but also for the interests of others."

Now - this puzzles me because I clearly do not see this in church today, generally. I see it in separate churches, but in church, as a people and as a whole, I do not see Christians living in the same mind by the same standard and this is really frustrating. I see a lot of selfishness, and I see a lot of people take and not care for others. I see a lot of self pity and self absorption. I see Christians arguing that such and such is right or that it is not. So what is going on? Are we not called to serve and pour out ourselves for others, and more importantly for God?

Well, this is my theory. Now keep in mind, I've done some digging, I've questioned this myself. But why do we do what we do? Ultimately is it for us, or is it for God? And if we're doing things for us, then what are we doing? This goes for everything. Why do we listen to the music we do - is it for us or is it for God? Why do we drink with friends - is it for us, or is it for God? Why do we set the goals we do - is it for our own personal gain or is it for God? What about when we talk about someone else? Is this for the glory of God?

This made me think - how many times has anyone ever had a beer for God? How about, listening to a top 40s pop song strictly for God as an act of worship? Or set a goal to get an A++ for God? Now the latter may very well be for God, for He does call us to strive towards excellence - but how many times do we brag through our own strength that we can achieve such high marks? How about when we talk about someone instead of to them? Is this being used for the glory of God, or are we just allowing ourselves to wallow in our bitterness?

Is this making you question yourself yet? Because this question completely tore me apart. I realized yet again that I am a selfish human being, as many of us are, but I need to care more about what God thinks than what others think and even more so - I need to care what God thinks more than what I think. Or else, what am I doing?

The Bible even calls us to flee from the APPEARANCE of sin and to avoid evil (1 Thess. 5:22). It also calls us to be SET APART (Romans 12:1-2). So what are we doing, if we are indulging in these acts? Even if we have "Christian" parties where we're dancing to top 40 hits and drinking - how is this much different than non Christian parties... drinking and dancing to top 40s? And are we really doing this for Jesus? I'm just making an observation.

Now I am not saying anything is right or wrong. I am simply asking every reader to honestly ask themselves whether or not they do the things that are "grey" for Jesus. I am honestly so convicted right now to live entirely for God (again) right down to the food that goes into my body. Our bodies are temples, and I know personally I need to start treating it like one. I challenge each of you to ask yourselves: "who am I living for?"

Do You Feel?

2011-11-13T12:08:00.000-08:00

Oh boy. Over the last, well literally, 36 hours, I have been extremely inspired, challenged and changed by the Lord. My heart is broken and so full of love. I have become passionate for justice and for the broken and the lost in a way I have never ever experienced before.

Let me first say, that I am just as selfish as the next person, and it's something that has always really annoyed me about myself and people in general. Especially over here in North America. However I have always had a heart for justice, and I have always felt guilty for having and being blessed with things that I really don't need, while others are suffering.

So I was humbled the other night through worship, and then I was informed on human trafficking. Hearing the talk on human trafficking just made me realize how oblivious I've been and how the world is just so corrupt. Even though I had already felt guilty for having so much, the worst part of it all is knowing that I'm apart of this - that was the thing that got me. I am apart of this evil just by buying chocolate or clothing! Or whatever I obliviously purchase without double checking to see if it has been made through slave labour or human traffickers.

I was so disgusted with myself, until I woke up yesterday morning to the Lord telling me in my devotion that this is a time of blessing and to not feel bad. I think something in me snapped because I started feeling guilty for being blessed. Then I started listening to this song called "Do You Feel" and that just did it. For so long I had been dwelling in my "things" - problems, circumstances, etc. and I have been so self absorbed I didn't think that I would be any use to anyone, or I thought that I couldn't help unless I fixed my life or something. But then I heard this song and it reminded me of this purpose, and it completely changed my heart. Here are the lyrics, and you may understand why:

Do You Feel - The Rocket Summer

"I'm thinking about other things I heard about today

All this week and tomorrow

And how these hands could create some better things for bettering

But you see for now I got my own things

I can't help it, I got too many issues I own

So I cannot help, I'm afraid, yeah

But keep on preaching, preaching to heal the world

Lip service makes us look great

Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow?

Or to you is it just not real?

'Cause you 'got your own things'

Well, we all have our things, I guess

I guess my mind wanders off from time to time

Sometimes I convince myself

That all is fight in the world

It's not mine, why should I have to try

To fix things I didn't create or contrive?

Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow?

Or to you is it just not real?

'Cause you got your own things,

Yeah we all have so many things

Have the habits had you?

Has it been for long?

Can you feel the souls behind what's going on?

Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow?

Or to you is it just not real?

'Cause you got your own things,

Yeah we all have our things

Do you feel the weight of the world singing sorrow?

Or to you is it just not real?

'Cause you got your own things

'Cause we all have so many things

And I can get past these things, oh"

And this did it. Almost every homeless person I walked by, I gave to them, I couldn't help it the love of God was just overflowing in me. When a I walked through the park where Occupy in my city is held, I wanted to preach the compassion of Jesus to them. I wanted to say how we are so blessed and how we need to fight for those who are working for us by making clothes and food. For those who have no choice, let us be the choice. Because over here in North America we can stop this.

And so I'm seriously looking into going on Project now. I don't know where I'll be going. I don't know where I'll get the finances, but I'm counting on the Lord to direct me and to provide. I cannot get over this radical change I've encountered, but I pray that my heart will continue to break and that I will have opportunities to express change and to share my faith. Now I don't say this just to say it, I say it to inspire you and to let you know that I have not ever had this inclination before. Not really. God has moved so much in my life and has changed my heart for the better.

Another thing that was discussed that I would like to address as part 2 of this blog post, is the roles of women and men. Not only women and men, but women and men of God.

We need to stop competing. We need to stop over powering each gender by this women vs men competition we have in our society. We need to come alongside each other as brothers and sisters in Christ to do the will of God that Jesus has commanded us to do. Each gender needs to step it up - ladies need to stop being so contentious and insecure and start measuring their worth in God. Guys need to stop abusing their power and start being patient, bold and true servants in faith.

We need to stop taking advantage of each other. We need to be obedient, diligent, faithful, virtuous, devoted, pure, secure, content, convicted and patient in and for the Lord. We need to be more encouraging and more bold in our action, not just our speech - yes I am included in this as well.

Basically, the Lord has just changed me in a really mighty way, and I hope this inspires you too.

Occupy What?

2011-11-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

Okay - before I begin I would just like to point out that these are my opinions and if you are offended by them, don't say I didn't warn you.

This whole Occupy "insert your city here" protest is bull. I'm so annoyed with it, and I don't know how other Canadians are not. FYI I'm ranting about this because a "poll" came out and said that most Canadians support it. Really!?

We live in one of the best countries in the world, and I am strictly speaking about Canada. I think we've been the second best country in the world more than once over the last 20 years at most, but that's not even the point.

My point is that in a couple of days it will be Remembrance Day. A day to remember all who GAVE their lives up for our freedom. And what are we doing? We are bummin' out in a park, essentially saying that what those Veterans fought for is no longer acceptable to us. Or we're supporting those bums.

This sickens me and I really don't understand how this doesn't sicken other people. I mean, who are we to be so selfish that we should just expect and demand everything? That's not how life works. The fact that people are not okay with our country's systems even though we are better off than most, is just ridiculous to me. More importantly, people are protesting this - and other Canadians are stealing poppy money! ARE WE REALLY THAT SELFISH!? Can we not appreciate what we have here? Let's be real, we have more than what 3/4 of the world does. Can we not appreciate what we have? Can we not appreciate that people died for what we have today? Instead of, I don't know, complaining and stealing?

I would be all for this protest if these people were protesting corporate ethics. I would be in favour if the Americans wanted universal health care (something other leaders tried introducing and everyone freaked out at them for - just saying). I would even be in favour of a change to the American Constitution because it does leave a lot of loop holes for corporations that do afflict and over ride small businesses and human rights, etc. In essence, there have been a lot of bad things done in the name of corporation. However, if people want to protest corporations people should boycott corporations - not bum out in a park, because really, what is that doing for anyone?

I'll be honest - I don't see the issue here in Canada. We are still one of the best countries in the world. The country has been doing fairly well despite international recession and economic break down. I believe that capitalism has been afflicting other countries, but not really its own. I'd also like to point out that we have laws in effect to help protect us Canadians from unethical means. Really, I'm just confused as to what these issues are.

I agree, our education isn't the cheapest and yes, European countries use their tax dollars much more effectively than we do. However, we have huge benefits in Canada too - so why are we complaining? If anything, the countries like Jamaica, who are being gypped by the trade system should be complaining. Or better yet, we should be speaking and protesting FOR them. We should help to make trade more fair to other developing countries. If we're honest with ourselves, capitalism has been good to us. However, it has not been good to other countries, again, leaving me confused as to what these issues are.

I know this is crazy ranting, but I'm just mad and disgusted with Canadians right now. I think they all just need to shut up, go home and then go to a poorer country to learn what real affliction is. I apologize if this sounds rude, but well, I think this whole protest is straight up rude.

C'mon Church!

2011-10-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

It's been way too long since my last blog, well that, and the fact that I'm probably the least articulate person I know, yet I could preach a sermon with how on fire I am right now. If this is what righteous anger feels like ... oh boy.

So lately, I've been restless, and at times I've even lacked faith. We all do. When I rant, I include myself in this as well. As Matt Theissen once quoted " I'm part of the problem, I confess, but I gotta get this off my chest..." well, I don't think I could describe what I want to say in this blog any better than that.

Now, a few weeks ago I went to a conference on the Bloodline that talked about the covenant of Christ and what He saved us from and looked deeply into what He really did for us. This stirred something deep within me, and I haven't been the same since.

At one point in the conference the pastor said "if we knew who we really were in Christ, we'd storm hell with a water pistol". Aha. It's funny - but it's so true. After I heard this I thought "how much time am I wasting? How much time have I already wasted being depressed in my problems, dwelling on the future problems that may not even exist, and worst of all? Dwelling on the past! When Christ has saved me - saved His people from this!

He has called us to be blameless. To be selfless. To give our thoughts towards Him, pray without ceasing - literally, to be thankful, to bless Him and to give Him our best and serve Him with our all. To do everything for Him.

Now when I realized this, it gave me a whole new perspective in my faith. How selfish have I been! To think that I've been angry at God for what He didn't do, instead of being thankful for what He has brought me out of! And how many of us do this?

How judgemental I have been - when my first response towards a stranger is anger or annoyance, and not compassion! Lord help me! And we all do this. To one degree or another we are all selfish and judgemental. It's the curse of the fall. It's how people are. We gossip and we try to figure out situations we have no business trying to figure out, or be involved in. We care about outdoing others or we're after some sort of gain whether it's power, escape, acceptance - we all crave something - sometimes a little too much.

If this is choppy so far - let me explain. See, church, just in general, as a whole, myself included likes to hear the easy word. We like to hear "oh the Lord is doing good things. Jesus saved us all we have to do is believe and we're in heaven with Him" - aha. No. Not even close.

We forget we have to deny ourselves and carry our cross DAILY.

We forget that we have to pray without ceasing and have God in the FRONT of our minds.

We forget to have grace on those who have hurt us or have irritated us, when we are all sinners before the Lord.

We forget that we are CO-HEIRS with Christ.

We forget that we have been delivered.

We forget to focus on GOD when we have a problem, not the problem itself.

We forget to have faith.

We forget the great commission (Matthew 28).

We forget that God is not a respecter of persons and that He wants to use us. But we also forget that He won't use the half hearted.

We forget that we need to live by a HOLY standard, NOT just the "CHRISTIAN" standard. I capitalize these to make a point.

We live by the Christian standard, but how many of us live by God's standard? How many of us are different than the person we portray (judging by the number of hypocrites I've met, and how many times I've been a hypocrite myself, I'd say a lot).

I have just been so convicted of all of these things, but I'm not depressed or down on myself. I'm encouraged to live by a different standard - God's standard. I'm encouraged to let my ridiculous past go, and move forward into His promise. I've been encouraged to learn what Jesus did for me, and what I'm saved from. I'm encouraged to learn what being a co-heir of Christ means and what I'm entitled to spiritually through that. I'm also encouraged so much, that my heart breaks for the lost. My heart yearns for revival. And I'm writing down songs that can only be from God in my excitement and learning and frustrating experiences.

I'm sick of "church". I'm sick of the self pity pit. I'm sick of acting "churchy" because I know I should not because I'm giving my life over to God or denying myself. I'm sick of hiding behind my humour and not taking my words or the things I say more seriously. I'm sick of hypocrites. I'm sick of being a hypocrite, because let's face it, most of us struggle with this, even Paul who wrote about the conflict of two natures in Romans 7:14-25. To be brutally honest this is where I'm at. And I don't think I'm the only one, for if I were, a lot more people would be getting saved daily. Now if you read this and agree with me, I challenge you to come alongside me as I strive toward Christ, to help encourage me, to let me encourage you, so we can figure out what all of this really means and what we're really supposed to be doing. Because let's face it, we've missed it. And until we face that fact, nothing will ever change.

Down in Flames - Relient K

Adventures at Frontline MMXI - Review

2011-08-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

So I had to write a blog about this week at camp because there was just so many incredible things that happened that I can't not share or talk about it.

The verse/vision for the week was Hosea 6:6 "for I desire loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings". Essentially it was not what God could do for us but what we could do for God - because whenever we find ourselves with hardened hearts and fallen away from God from Holy Spirit experiences in the past - it's always a "me" issue - it's never a God issue.

So Sunday - Our cool camp director spoke and we reviewed the vision for the week and I was reminded that a true friend would rather do nothing with you than have you do something for them all the time - and that with faith the size of a mustard seed we can move the mountains in our lives. This was a good reminder.

Monday - We had morning prayer, First Watch that my co-counsellor lead. I decided I would go with her every morning, even though this particular morning was our cabin's turn. I sought the Lord on the day and He revealed to me the entirety of Hosea 6 and told me that He was going to heal and restore and come like rain on the second day and raise us up on the third day - that He did, but more on that later. Then our morning service we had a "girl talk" and it was nice to be reminded that girls have the right to choose and that just because a guy likes you doesn't mean you have to go for it and that girls need to just be able to focus on God and when a man of God comes around it'll work out to His will. And it was also nice to realize I have a lot of time before I need to be worried about ringing any wedding bells haha!

Before I go any further I'm going to go on a but of a tangent - but the team from Alabama was just such a blessing and I am so thankful for them and for their obedience - the worship team and speaker drove 13 hours from Huntsville to be able to sow into these kids and I'm just so impressed and thankful still.

Anyways - so that night the speaker talked about the prodigal son and how though he dwelt with the pigs he still had enough sense not to eat the pig. He also was saying that if we have a dysfunctional relationship with our earthly father it will come through in our view of God and that we need to realize God is far from our earthly father and we can't have that view of God. Also, he spoke something really interesting - that the eldest son stayed in the fields and worked and knew what his brother was doing but did nothing about it and instead of rejoicing in love that his brother came back, he got jealous and selfish and angry and the intentions of his heart came out. It was good to be reminded that the Lord restores all things, and I was thankful to be seeing that in my life.

Tuesday - This morning at First Watch the Lord revealed to me Isaiah 61, 2 Corinthians 5:21 and Ephesians 4:22-24. What's really cool is the camp director's ministry is based on 2 Corinthians 5:21 - so I paid special attention to what God had to say today. He showed me specifically Isaiah 61:10 and said that today is the day of healing and told me to dwell in His healing presence. So I did. And I broke with compassion over these kids when the night service came and the Lord reigned down and did all He said He would and even more. I was just so thankful and so moved with compassion that I cried and my heart was so broken for these kids and it was then I experienced the love of God in a way I have never experienced it before. Oh yeah, and it rained.

Wednesday - In this morning in particular I was shown Isaiah 49 specifically "those who are bound go forth - to those in the darkness show yourselves" and then that morning we heard a really good word on repentance and that if we keep going back to the same sin there's a disconnect in our value system - such a good word. Then it was continued onto the night. The speaker talked about Esau trading the promises of God and his inheritance and rights as being the eldest son for a bowl of soup - then asked the question "what's our bowl of soup" - oh snap! I'm pretty sure this word just ruined everyone and I think that we all had something come to mind when this question was asked. Now, luckily the Lord spoke to me on restoration - and that was what happened. The things that we had traded in for our bowl of soup was restored. Another great work of God. Oh - and this was the offering night - and the Lord told me to give 2 things, and He told me that every dollar I gave would be restored to me tenfold. And it was just today - praise God!

Thursday - This was the last night the speaker from Alabama - now this night was so awesome. God is just so amazing I can't even get over it. So, the last few nights I got on my knees and I just prayed during worship over the kids, the camp, etc and poured out my heart to God. So when the worship music came on I asked "Lord, what do you want me to do tonight" and He told me to rejoice for a Holy fire was coming down tonight. I said .. okay, and I worshiped and I waited. Then the speaker comes up to the front and starts talking about altars - bam! By the end of the night we were to lay down something as a representation of something in our lives, and we could pick it up again as a reminder of what happened - so I laid down my cross necklace and then the Lord pressed upon me to lay down something that represented my musical journey with Him and so I did, and only picked back up my cross necklace. I'm so excited for what God is going to do in my music now and I'm excited to see what comes out.

Friday - So this night just broke me. I now know why God doesn't give us our plans right away because it's a really overwhelming thing to receive. So, a couple of the Alabama guys left and our camp director spoke again and he spoke on faith. What was cool about this was that the Lord told me to dig into His word during worship and He revealed to me a chapter in Isaiah. I thought it was cool but I knew something more was coming. So as I was listening to the sermon on faith, God kept building and building to the big finale. The speaker asked us to get a life verse (mine had already been Jeremiah 29:11) and to make a goal for this year - don't box God in. So instead of receiving a life verse I got a life promise and I realized that even though I had already laid down my life the night before I needed to get to the altar to confirm what God was going to do - because if He wills, it's going to be huge.

So I'm now declaring this chapter in Isaiah over my life and I'm just so stoked and nervous to see how it'll play out. There are some crazy scary things in there- all good and I'm just so honoured and humbled and broken that the Lord entrusted me with it. And I definitely need prayer in this as well. Not only for this revelation, but for the kids who came to camp and were richly blessed and healed and touched and may they see the Lord in their lives every day in Jesus name, Amen! Because God entrusted us all with something and it's time we grab hold of it and grab God's hand and just run. And I'm excited to see what the Lord has for this year!

Forgiven

2011-08-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

So, I've been going along with this whole living my life to gain God in everything I do which is a lot harder than I thought - but anyways. That's not really what I want to discuss in this blog, for I already discussed in my last one.

What really hit me today was what lies behind the loose tongue ... or the gossiping or slander or whatever else we say to bring others down and displease God. I remembered today through my devotional that hurt people hurt people. And how do hurt people hurt people? Other than physical violence - for the most part it's by using their words.

I've also been really focusing on Proverbs 4:23 and how our hearts are our wellspring of life - determining our course. And in James it talks about how the tongue is like a rudder on a ship or a small fire... see the connection? If our heart is steering our ship or our tongue - it's determining our course. The heart also determines our thoughts and our actions, and when there is hurt in our hearts, that can be a really dangerous thing.

And so it hit me today that I had hurt in my heart and that I needed to cast off my bitterness, anger, offence at certain situations aside and give it over to God in order for my words and my life to be pure. I honestly struggled with it most of the day because a lot of what I thought I had put aside, I didn't actually - I just avoided or ignored it for a little while. And honestly I'm still struggling with this one. Especially after Monday. However, the Lord brought to me a peace and has taken this anxiousness from me and has freed me - from my past, my enemies, my sin and everything not of Him. So I need not focus on myself and those things that happened to me.

While I write this out, I am realizing how incredibly selfish pain can be and how easy it is to be caught up in self pity and how easy it is to want to be there - but we are called for so much greater! We are called to live in the victory of Christ for we are no longer slaves to sin - ours or any one else's. And yes, this took me just about a day after wrestling with God to finally and truly accept it.

And so I'm working on those hurts and forgiving others and just as I forgive I will be forgiven - truly forgiven. I think that when we concentrate on His goodness it will always be there, and it will be there to cleanse us, guide and direct us to His plan, purpose and presence.

Summertime Sunshine

2011-08-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take the time to talk about a few different things, but first I'm going to update everyone who cares about my summer.

What an amazing summer this has been! It was a rough start for sure, but God brought me out of the wilderness and opened up some amazing opportunities at an amazing church in the heart of London. I am so blessed and thankful for every single day. I literally wake up almost every day and say "wow, this is my life! Thank you Lord!". I have an awesome job doing God's will and serving and I'm provided for in amazing ways. I live with an amazing family with amazing hearts and I get to connect with amazing people.

I have also completed most of what I actually wanted to do in my summer bucket list, which is sweet because I don't think that's ever actually happened before. Also I've encountered new things to do as well.

Not to mention God has been working a lot in me, and I feel really changed. I mean, I have before, but every few months I see where I was and where I am and I thank the Lord. He's been convicting me and showing me things in my life that I need to fix, He's been showing me what love really looks like, and He's been convicting me of things and areas that may not even be necessarily bad for me, but aren't good.

The other day I was listening to this song called "Of Men and Angels" by The Rocket Summer. If you don't know him (Bryce Avery) he's great. He is a one man band, and his progress is inspiring. Anyways - there's a lyric in this song that says "Here I am dear Lord, tasting hints of fame - I don't want it anymore if it's not You that I gain". Now I've always found this really inspiring and humbling. Then the other day I was walking along, feeling spiritually assaulted - and I focused in on the end of the line - "I don't want it anymore if it's not You that I gain". I stopped to think of all of the things in my life that aren't allowing me to gain God - the things in my life that are just there. This includes clothing, food, music, habits, shows I watch, things I say ... you get the idea.

So I was challenged then and there to figure out what allows me to gain God and keep those things, then get rid of the rest. Needless to say, I'm still figuring this out. There's so much in my life that is just there ... it's not good nor bad, it's just there. There are also a lot of bad things and a lot of good things as well. I'm slowly working through this all. Then after this God encounter, the service this past Sunday was about love and loving one another just as Jesus did. I again encountered the things I had been challenged with.

So I'm concentrating on focusing on gaining God through everything I do, everything I say/sing, everything I eat, everything I wear, everything I listen to and everything I watch. It's hard when you look at it like this. But in the end I know it will bring much healing and reward, and I know God will do all of this for His glory. So I'm excited to see what happens, but it's still a long process.

By the way - just going on some more about the "everything I listen to" thing ... where has all of the Christian music gone? I remember the days when I could go on Jesus Freak Hide out or iTunes even and check out almost 20 new bands a month. A lot of them I didn't really like, but a lot of them I really did. Now I find it really hard to come across new albums from these artists - or at least really legitimate ones. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places?

Anyways... I'm also on my way to learning guitar, and being decent enough to perform somewhere. I'm still not very good at transitions but I'm practicing so I'm aiming for maybe Christmas time to be able to perform somewhere or maybe do worship? We'll see I guess. For now I'm focused on everything I write and do to be for God... sometimes a song will express my emotions for whatever I'm going through and just praying for Him to deal with it... other times it'll be complete worship. I only have 4 songs right now, 2 recorded, 2 on hold. I'm hoping to write a couple more by the end of the month and hopefully play them by October... but I guess we'll see about that last part :)

The Worst Days

2011-05-24T21:28:00.000-07:00

There are days, like today for example, where I just legitimately think I'm the ugliest soul and the most horrible person on the face of the planet. Whether it's because I'm tired, or I've said something stupid or mean or because I try to fix something and end up epically failing, or even just validating myself in the wrong places or comparing myself, all of these things contribute to this temporary belief.

Now, obviously this belief and thought is very fleeting for there are many problems with it. First off, mistakes are all equal in God's eyes. Also, I'm saved by His grace, so I need to believe in that and not live so defeated. Also when I think like this, it means I'm not trusting in Him, and in His peace and His plan, which actually is an epic fail on my part along with whatever else I think I'm failing at.

Anyways, I've learned over the last little while that believing in God isn't just a one time thing - it's a moment by moment decision. Sometimes I make the decision to follow Him and to trust Him. Other times, I make mistakes. Or I think wrongly. For example today. I just felt completely inadequate and mean. I started fearing rejection and abandonment, I found myself comparing who I am to everyone else, I started feeling like a bad person for different things.

Obviously I wasn't really doing a good job in those moment by moment decisions, I'll be brutally honest. I think if we're all brutally honest with ourselves, we'll find that our worst days are the days that we're not giving things over to God the way we should be.

I constantly need to remind myself that: YES - I am accepted in the Lord. YES - I'm forgiven, and I need to forgive myself and not dwell in guilt all the time. YES - I'm not perfect, but neither is anyone else. We all have great things to offer into the Body of Christ and comparing does nothing because we all serve a completely different purpose, and we're all beautiful. YES - I am validated and given boldness in the Lord, and in no one else, and I need to stop searching for that validation in other places. Somedays are harder for this than others, especially being used to this way of thinking. And YES - God works out everything for those who love Him, so I can't be impatient or angry when something doesn't go my way.

That's the beauty of salvation, it's the beauty of Christ and what He did for us. And it's time I, and other believers start dwelling in this and stop taking it for granted. Romans 8 I find is a good reminder of this. Whenever I feel guilty, sad, discouraged, this book always helps to remind me of what is right in front of me - Jesus. And we can either choose to ignore this, or embrace it.

May 22 Came...

2011-05-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

... Like I knew it would. Why? For many reasons, which are all very Biblical.

But before I address those reasons, I'd like to personally apologize for those believers who scared half of the world into believing the Rapture was yesterday ... most believers did not agree with this, but yet again, one crazy person does something in the name of God and it seems to be all grouped into the prejudice that either "Christians are crazy" or "Christians are ignorant" ... or worse, both.

I don't know who this Harold Camping man is. I just know that he somehow thought he could predict the end of the world, and was very wrong. I also know that he seems to have some of the characteristics of a false prophet. For one, he's a millionaire off of his theory. Many believers gave their life savings to advertise this event. Those who are real prophets do not gain money or riches from their prophecies. They are not out to seek gain or riches from the world, but they genuinely want to spread the word God gave them (example, Jeremiah). And if I'm wrong about this, I'm sorry, I gathered this from interviews and articles. (I did a little bit of homework).

I also know that he was wrong before, and I also am skeptical of his belief that he can somehow be above Jesus in thinking that we can know the date of the end of the world, even though it clearly states in Mark 13:32, Matthew 24:36 AND Acts 1:7 that only the Father knows the time. Now, their theory was that Jesus had said that but because he was resurrected we are now in the Revelation time period, his statement is false. Now, of course we are not in the same time as Jesus. But the fact that it states that no one knows the time or date 3 times, including in Acts, which is after the resurrection leads me to believe that this man picks and chooses what he wants to believe from the Bible, which is another red flag.

Also, when asking what Scriptures were used in interviews, he and his followers gave none. Or they would give a verse out of 1 Peter, I think it was. Anyways, whatever the verse was, the intent was supposed to be humbling, that we need to live like every day is our last day. Or their Scriptures were irrelevant to the date May 21. Dates in the Bible don't exactly match our present day calendar, and there are many things to consider, which I don't believe they did. And the fact that they tried to fit God's timing into a mathematical equation is really wrong.

This entire thing makes me think of John 10 and the parable of the good Shepard . "I know my sheep and my sheep know me" John 10:14. I'm starting to seriously wonder of those following Camping are not Jesus' sheep... or were just seriously deceived. Either way, I think that Camping should apologize to all of those who lost their life savings over this crazy prediction, and also for attempting to put God in a box, and also for scaring half of the world and making believers look even more crazy. Because, let's be honest, Christians get mocked enough as it is ... we don't need Camping and his predictions to instigate the mocking for us.

Something's Gotta Change...

2011-05-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

This past week has been really hard for me. I was going along alright, until something happened, and my reaction to it surprised me greatly.

See, when I have bad days, weeks, months, years, etc; I always learn something. Thank the Lord that lately I've been tending to pick up His lessons a little faster than I had been in the past.

This week, I learned a lot of things. Really, I learned it all in one day, but it took me a little while to process it all.

I learned what letting go really means. I tend to bury things, or worse, run from things. But this week I learned what letting go actually is and what it really feels like, and do I ever feel free.

In learning what letting go really is, I learned that I hadn't let go of a lot of things that I thought I had. I had to sort through (and am still sorting through) issues, and feeling more and more free each day.

I learned what forgiveness really is. See, sometimes, we hold a grudge. Then we don't see someone for a while. Then we think we've forgiven them because we haven't seen them and have forgotten about it, but then we see them and feel negative things towards them and issues come up. This actually happens to me all the time, I won't even lie. And I constantly have to ask for grace and forgiveness over this. Well anyways, I'm learning how to actually forgive people and forgive those I'm holding forgotten grudges over.

It also hit me that God has a plan for me. An actual one, and that I've been so upset for so long about how it hasn't been going my way and I didn't even really know it. I really realized that I have a plan from God, and I need to trust in that.

For the record, I disliked when people would tell me before to "let something go" or just to "get over it". I honestly would want to. I believe everyone who is told that wants to get over it. But when it's something major, you don't even really know where to begin sometimes or even how. It's definitely a phrase easier said than done, and I actually apologize for ever saying this advice to people.

Anyways, I learned a lot more, but I'm definitely still processing those lessons. They will surely come up in future blogs and songs. As for now, I'm working on some melodies for some new lyrics and I'm still trying to put this huge life changing lesson into a poetic form. We'll see how this goes ...

Thought of the Day

2011-05-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

So those albums I listed before as inspiration are all albums that had inspired my taste in music when I was around 12, with the exception of The Fray. If I were to state my musical influences now, there'd be too many, and they'd be really different.

Like Fleetwood Mac for example. I had never given Stevie Nicks the time of day until now, and I'm embarrassed I didn't get into the band sooner. But my music phases are super fleeting, so we'll see how long Rumours can last on repeat. I think it'll be a while honestly...

Anyways. I don't have a whole lot to say today. Maybe I should make every word I say more meaningful. In fact, I've been trying, or more learning how to.

See, I'm not the most eloquent speaker. I say a lot of slang. I write slang too, but not nearly as often as I speak it. However, I'm learning how to make all of my words count, and I'm starting off with writing: blogs, poems, songs, poems that will hopefully turn into songs.

That's actually what I've been learning through listening to Rumours, that I should try my best to write lyrics that best represent how I feel or what I'm learning. I was discouraged for a while, because I would write simple because simple is appealing and simple seems to sell or appeal more to an audience. But listening to Rumours, and other great albums too, I'm learning that it's the universal themes that are appealing -- not just the simplicity of lyrical content.

So my goal is to write and record a demo by the end of the summer, keeping this in mind. Everything will solely be Biblically based, seeing as well, 1) it's my number once source of inspiration and 2) it's the most universal themed source of literature, whether people realize it or not. I want to properly make these themes applicable to people and have people still learn from the stories, regardless or their religious beliefs.

I think that that's what good writers achieve, and this is what I'm hoping to someday achieve. Part of this blog will be my adventures and trials in this. So I'll for sure be posting updates.

... I guess I had more to say than I thought.

Oh, Hey...

2011-05-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have too much going on in my head sometimes. So I decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon.

I guess we'll see if this is a good idea . . .

Anyways, I guess this is an introductory post. Mostly I'll be writing lists and rants. I like to rant a lot. Too much, actually. So I figured why not blog my rants for people to read, but only if they want. But I'm guessing not a lot of people will want to. Oh well.

I guess this is just mostly for me to share what I learn and how I feel about the world at a particular moment in time.

To start off my blog I decided to list the top five most memorable albums (so far) in my life with mini explanations.

To start off, I'll list my number one: Leaving Through the Window by Something Corporate.

I can't get over how clever and relatable this album has been to me in my life (well, just from the age of twelve). Everything from the song to the cover art, which, is my blog's title and picture because it had inspired me so much in high school.

Number two: Songs About Jane by Maroon 5.

I'm a little embarrassed about this one, I'll admit, but I have to say I bought this album when I was 11, and up until that point I hadn't listened to an entire album all the way through and loved every song. Not until this album anyways. The frontman had something different that I had never heard before in a vocalist... he was honest, and he genuinely sang from the heart.

Number three: How to Save a Life by The Fray.

This album helped me gain so much insight during one of the toughest times of my adolescence. It also is another album I can listen to all the way through and never grow tired of.

Number four: The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek by Relient K.

This was the first "Christian" album I'd ever heard. I borrowed it from a friend and it would pump me up during my worst days.

Number five: Futures by Jimmy Eat World.

This was all I listened to during the last months of school. It was the only album that captured perfectly the nostalgic but excitement I felt about ending high school.

Honorable Mentions: From Under the Cork Tree - Fall Out Boy, Do You Feel - The Rocket Summer, (What's the Story) Morning Glory - Oasis, Say No More - House of Heroes, Flyleaf - Flyleaf, Cities- Anberlin.